It's like God shit irony all over that family
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
