I'm going to jail i love you
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
