Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
