yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
