failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i think i just lost a toe
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