I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
