I can tuck mytits in my pants
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
