oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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