Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
