yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize