Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
