I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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