Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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