Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
