So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
