please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize