Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
