Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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