i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
