I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
