okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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