Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
