According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
