im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
