You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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