I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
