You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
