Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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