Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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