u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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