dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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