I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Pants are for mortals
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize