I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize