I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize