new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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