so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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