I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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