Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
