Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
