I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
