i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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