My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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