My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i now understand why vodka
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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