therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
