I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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