yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think your dad took our porno
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
