ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
