i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
