at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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