Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
