She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
