i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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