I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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