I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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