Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize