remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We're too hungover to prance.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
