My first STD was from a foam party
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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