dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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