We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
