when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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