Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
