imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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