I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
