Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
