Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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